Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be
easily offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated.
We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore, a list of “TRY SAYING” new phrases has been provided
so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING:
I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f#cking way.

TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You’ve got to be sh#tting me!

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh#t.

TRY SAYING:
I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It’s not my f#cking problem.

TRY SAYING:
That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f#ck?

TRY SAYING:
I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh#t won’t work.

TRY SAYING:
I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING:
He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s got his head up his a#s.

TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh#t and die.

TRY SAYING:
So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a#s.

TRY SAYING:
I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F#ck it, I’m on salary.

TRY SAYING:
I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a#s.

TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING:
I see.
INSTEAD OF:
Blow me.

TRY SAYING:
He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s a prick.

TRY SAYING:
She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She’s a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don’t know what the f#ck you’re doing.

Thank You,
Human F#cking Resources
Sorry
Human Resources

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About Md. Alsanda

Cry Alone : Everyone Feel Sorry For You ! ....................................... Laugh Alone : The World Thinks You’re an Idiot !......

4 responses »

  1. pennycoho says:

    It would create interesting dialogue in the work areas, that’s for sure! 🙂

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